For Budgetary Reasons, the Wordcount for this Week's Edition Has Been Heavily Slashed
Also, disputes on compensation! Did you know I don't make a cent from writing The Maltese Body Politic?
First off, an admission, like one often does: Life got grossly in the way - more on that later - and as a result I didn't have much time to work on this week's edition of The Maltese Body Politic. Hell, I would have skipped it entirely but this week happened to be Budget Week so I felt obliged to write something about that, never mind I should feel absolute no obligation towards this particular operation. After all - and I'll also get into this particular topic - I don't make a single red cent from this blog or newsletter or whatever the hell you want to call it. So why should I bother? I'll blame it on a Problem and leave at that, I guess.
But anyway, The Budget. I'll confess I know very little about economic matters, never mind that I have read many an article on the topic - most I understand on the topic suggests that the "economy" amounts to little more than justification for the current status quo, where the poor have to keep on getting poorer in order to ensure the rich's become even richer. As such, for me the one highlight of the whole "Budget" affair was the fact finance minister Clyde Caruana replaced the traditional black briefcase used to hold his important economic plans with a brand new red number, one Clyde says is a reference to the red briefcase used by the British Chancellor of the Exchequer. Considering Britain is currently less a leading a world power and more Italy, maybe stick to references to Malta's past as a middling island nation that's more third world than first, Clyde? In any (brief)case, what does the budget hold for us Maltese animals? Maybe you should go look at actual analysis instead of depending on yours truly, but if you insist it seems like a little more than a continuation of what Labour has been doing since 2013 (which in turn, no matter how much they deny it, is little more than the turbo-charging of the same neoliberal economic policy the Nationalist Party has adopted since it first came to power in 1987). This means a lot of papering over cracks in the name of short-termism. Take, for instance, the €10,000 grant that will be given to first-time property buyers. A fine enough proposal on paper, but does the country's real estate industry need propping up at the taxpayer's expense? Wouldn't it be better for the government to institute property price controls, like the one Singapore - a fellow Commonwealth country that also uses a red budget briefcase, like Clyde let us know - has? Well obviously not; no one could convince the Labour Party, never mind the financial equivalent of Mister Potato Head, of biting the hand that feeds it. Here's another example - the €9.90 Cost of Living Adjustment (COLA) payment to be given to workers per week. Another seemingly fine measure when one considers these currently trying economic times, but why won't the government oblige business to pay their workers more through an increase in the minimum wage? There's a similar lack of imagination throughout the rest of the budget (although at least those hideous Gozo-Malta tunnel and Metro plans fail to make it on paper), and that's the point. Labour's reign in government was, and remains, a get-rich-quick scheme - remember, Joseph Muscat's original plan, which was only thwarted by the greed and stupidity of his closest subordinates, was to make it up the highest echelons of European Union power, Malta be damned. Don't think these people care about you, or anyone else in your direct vicinity, beyond the fact you get to participate in a perfectly democratic election every four years or so.
Something else of mild import happened in parliament ahead of the budget speech - the cabinet members' declaration of assets. This is a wholly pointless ritual where the politicians forming the current government cabinet tell the members of parliament all they own. I describe this as pointless because these assets are not audited in any way, and considering that here is a basic fact of this world: politicians lie. Wait, I hear you asking for another basic fact of this world? Okay: politicians lie. And here's another one, for the slow children in the back: politicians lie. Take for instance the prime minister's declaration of an unspecified amount of rent from an unspecified building. Is anyone going to check whether that rent comes from, say, Russian passport buyers pretending to be living in a ruin that is slated for demolition? And how much is that rent even worth, anyway? The answer to those questions is of course, no, no and and also no. And in any case, even if these asset declarations were audited by someone, anyone, there's an easy trick for hiding any assets - just have them declared under your spouse's name, then no one will ever know that they were actually yours all along! So keep this in mind as the political class finds it more than easy to openly admit just how rich it actually is - it's even wealthier than you even imagine, as Lord knows how much of what should be yours it has squirreled away in bank accounts and property all over the world. As for the supposed opposition arguing against what the declarations tell? Well, it's just kayfabe, isn't it? Gotta keep up appearances if one is to pretend the country they run is a democracy, after all.
Circumstances that will be detailed eventually have led my morbidly following this most idiotic of arguments between Jon "tal-Podcast" Mallia and criminal lawyer-slash-part-time political failure Franco Debono. The story, as dumb as it is, goes as follows - Franco Debono took to Facebook to tell his many followers his opinions about Clyde Caruana's red budget briefcase, something I told you about earlier on this edition of The Maltese Body Politic. Enter Jon Mallia, who invited Franco to further opine on the matter - and, I suppose, any other - on his podcast. Franco took umbrage to this invite, stating that he bothered by the man and that he'd only go on the podcast if he gave all earnings from the recording to charity. Since here's the thing - the Podcast ta' Jon is a wholly commercial enterprise, being funded by not only Patreon supporters but all manner of advertising within the broadcast itself. Franco later elaborated that he'd be open for a discussion with Jon, only this would be uploaded to his blog, from which he never made a single cent. Hey, guess who also has a blog from which he failed to make a cent!1 In turn Jon got rankled by this accusation that his podcast is a money-making business, even as he straight-up admitted that this is indeed a money-making business complete with seven employees. And hey, if he pays those employees for what they're truly worth, good for him. But it's likewise good for Franco to refuse podcast invites, especially when these are for free; and let's face it, spending at least three hours in a studio is no joke. But there's what Franco did next, and where he's also right - one can produce a podcast (or in his specific case, a vlog) using just their phone and, if they're feeling particularly fancy, a potted plant to brighten up the background2. It's both easy and virtually free! You don't need a studio, never mind a full cadre of lighting technicians or recording engineers, no matter what the kind of people who have never managed to be funny even once in their miserable lives3 insist. If people want your content then they'll have it, no matter how unpolished it might actually be. And here's a secret a lot of people don't want you to know - it's actually a lot easier to "make" it if your content is in Maltese, as opposed to English. I'm not saying this out of bitterness - although you hogs should really do your bit and share The Maltese Body Politic, or are you still really ashamed of reading my work? - as I'd rather both write in English and keep this dumb thing as underground as possible, but once the use of the English language means it immediately gets lost among all the noise that makes the rest of the internet. A foul-mouthed Maltese language politics newsletter, though? Now that'd be something worth at least some cheddar? And hey, you can take that idea if you want, for free. Just maybe tell Jon Mallia to invite me on his podcast once you make it up to the top, okay? I'm not gonna ask you to share the wealth, but at least spread that love around.
If you've read up to this point you might recall how circumstances have led to this much shorter edition of The Maltese Body Politic. Well, here it is - I'm unemployed! Now that should technically give me more time to write, but this affair has actually done a number on my mental health which was then followed by a hit on my physical health, thanks to being touched by the dreaded gastric flu. Still, this situation has brought me more time to read articles, something that will exponentially increase the power of my brain, and as I do I'll share two pieces I've read recently. The first is "Centrism is the Suppression of Politics" by New Socialist's Tom Gann. The piece's focus is, understandably, the UK, but its message can be easily applied to any supposed democracy in the so-called "West", including, obviously, Malta. Second, the recent death of the great historian Mike Davis is as good reason as any to go back to his essays, specifically the essay "The Case for Letting Malibu Burn" from his Ecology of Fear. Speaking of Davis, Verso is offering the ebook version of his tremendous City of Quartz for the grand price of exactly free, so maybe go get that while you're at it? It's certainly better than whatever this nonsense is?
It's obviously me, dumbass.
Did I listen to Franco Debono’s vlog, you might ask? Well obviously not, do I look like I have minutes of my finite time on this Earth to waste on that weirdo’s ravings?
At least one of these people was also a guest on the Jon Mallia podcast so take that as you will.